Even so

Where is everyone else?
Even so
It feels like underwater
Just under the surface
The feeling of getting bigger and smaller exciting somehow no matter how much I don't understand it.
But when you've come up....
It's gone
Even when you're at that pond you've seen in your dreams
The one you can't describe
The words
The verse
Becoming shit in your head
Before they become shit
On paper

And worst of all that feeling you thought would be there
It's gone.
Where is everyone else?
They're ahead of you
Or so you're told
But
You look behind
the Green grass
The evergreens
They're the only thing that's truly gone
Never yours?
Never meant to be at least.