I feel like i'm walking around in all the things you said.

Just Like F***** You

I'ts that point you get in your life

When you say:

"You know what?!"

I'm not sorry.

I'm in existence,

I'm here.

And I'm not sorry.

I'm not sorry I survived

Not anymore.

I try

You try

I'm not perfect.

But I'm here

Making the best of it,

Just like F****** you.

I think the biggest things that depression and anxiety do to you is A) try to convince you you're not a person, or not the person you know you are and B) be extremely selfish while you feel feelings that are ultimately illusions.

Dear me,

All the bad sh** that happened to you, 

Is not, will not be the most important part of your story

I would not bother you sir

But you see, I've loved you (it seems) all my life
The only lamp I've looked forward to on my way home
Too often than not
So little to look forward in this world,
Except for you
I've always loved you
And I'm scared, sir
I'm scared
What if you never knew?
What if I never told you?
What if you passed and the words never passed my lips to your ears:
"I love you."?
What if you were gone?
And I had no gull to tell you
Those simple words
Of all the useless words
I say all day long
And yet
I could not tell you
The pitter patter I had always hoped to hear
On the floor of my house
Just once to be yours
What if you never knew?
I love you, sir
Just those words would suffice
No such requirement would I expect of you
Not even to care
Just so you know
That I love you

You're Screwed

Do you not know how to act?
Do you questions your ability to act normally... anywhere?
Do you like to go places?
Do you like to feel confident in your ability in not getting arrested, mocked, bullied and/or stared at or all of the above, all the time, every living second of your life?
Have you never learned a single healthy defense mechanism in your entire adult life?
Do you use your unhealthy, unnatural, viral video worthy defense mechanisms, on the daily, despite your best efforts?
Well, do I have a product for you!
Get married!
Yes, you heard me correctly, get married!
Get married and have that semi plausible healthy individual follow you around everywhere and adjust your eek-worthy behavior in front of doctors, police officers, apartment managers and former co workers.
Finally, leave your house with confidence!
Remember, your new found companion (unlike you) is just like that one credit card--accepted everywhere you go!
However
Are you both maladjusted?
Well, then.................
You're screwed.

Peace

You think these things, then you become these things, in a shirt bit. And then you think the things, that you thought, actually mattered. Or that the petty thoughts you had, didn't take up a part of your brain that should have been solely devoted to finding peace. Then they are the junk that got in the way of your peace.

Indemnity

You were the only one

The only one

The only one

The only one

That gave a f****.

You listened

You really listened.

When everyone else just looked away at a thing that wasn't hopefully happening

Because they didn't want to have to be responsible for the thing that was happening

Right before their f****** eyes.

Because that meant they were a bad person

Yes, not only a bad person,

 A VERY bad person

Because they were not helping another person.

Because YOU SEE, they weren't watching an ACTUAL "person."

Because what was happening right in front of them from this "person,"

Was not coming from a person....

Bear with me. 

Because that would mean they were a person like that "person" was a person.

And maybe that "person" was maybe a person,

Like they were a person

But that's f****** crazy!

Because that "person" that was actually a f******* person
Was/is crazy!
And that crazy "person" was absolutely not a f****** person.

Like they were a person.

Because they were definitely a person!

Oh definitely!

And that "person" was not a person

Because if that "person" was a person

They would have to be a good person and help that person
REALLY HELP that person

And they could possibly, somehow, someway be a person just like that "person" is most certifiably not a person.

It's just a thing.

Dear Me

Get up 

Because you have to believe it

You just have to listen to that small voice that says

This is isn't that bad,

This isn't it

No matter how stupid this advice sounds in this exact moment

No matter how trite

No matter how many times you've heard it in your entire life

No matter how much you've felt it meant nothing to you right now,

No matter what,

You have to believe.

You have to get up!

You have to fight!

You have to move on!

You have to believe you can do it.

You have to believe

You simply have to believe.

No matter what, you have to believe.

No matter what.