Try My Best to be Sober

You walk in
And they lay a coaster in front of you
No judging words
No entry fees
No preliminary exam
That would bar you from entry
They lay a coaster in front of you
You look around
To see who may be there
Who may not
Whose new
How old they are
You make your own judgements
They give you a drink
That makes you feel something
And you begin talking eventually
And on a good evening, laughing
On excellent, exchanging phone numbers
You're under no obligation to answer or call
In every way this experience evokes the absence of  judgement,
Rules, agenda, requirements, the complete opposite of work.
And I'm suppose to be a good little citizen and try my best to be sober?

You of all, I miss.

I think the biggest thing you did was treat me like a human being. Not a thing to be processed. Not a customer. Not an information vessel. Not a thing to just get through for a payment on your car, your house or any purchase you wanted to buy. You treated me like a human being full of oxygen, full of blood, full of tissues and bone. Instead of roles such employee, customer, thing. I was thoughts, emotions, words from lips, and skin moving around according to feeling. Being treated like that is a thing to be cherished. Because it's rare. It comes by maybe once per decade. To be treated with honest respect, honest sincerity, honest kindness. And you were human with me. You showed, at times, exasperation, happiness, laughter, sadness, insight and unromantic love. Nothing can replace what you were to me in my life now and forever more. And I miss you. You of all, I miss.

Demons

I open the door
and I tell them,
You can finally come in
It's not as though you scare me anymore
It's all clean in here
Just like you like it
With shit everywhere,
It's not as though we can afford a vacuum cleaner
You can howl, you can scrape, you can moan
It's like I said come in no
No one's home but me
All your other buddies have been invited long since

Please Don't Tell Anyone I Came Here

I have to drink water before alcohol now
I drink far too much
I have a dog named ____
Sorry no names
Even for her
I do walk her at least a mile each day.
I watch lost
I love my husband now
He's great!
I work for him
I'm drunk now
I'm not sure when someone will come and save me
I'd rather be homeless
(Because I want to have the strength to do it myself)
I'd rather drink my life away
Like the man who was found in the park and was offered
help by his niece
He said
"No! Leave me here! I like this way of living!"
That is when I realized there were many ways of living.
I think I can write now
If I just imagine I'm writing to you
Will that work for you, ___
No names, remember?
No names
I don't have one
That's certainly true
My husband is making instant noodles
We use to have some of the same kind in Hawaii
I'm going to beg some off of him

I hear the bubbles

That was a very good question to ask
What are you doing to take care of yourself?
Nothing
Besides standing in the middle of my heart
Wondering What I do after I took all the paintings down that made it and me, me.