I never

Walk away, in distress.
Look,
One more time,
Burst of tears, again, on the bus
My warm cheek
Laughing, at anything,
To get my mind, just for a second, off your name and face.
Because I loved you,
Every waking minute.
And denied you existed to nearly every person,

But those eyes. that last day.
Will always be in my head.
No matter how many times I shudder in the shower,
Or minutes before I go off to sleep,
Walk to the store,
Read a book,
Look into nowhere,
Anywhere,
And nearly blink away my eyes, furiously, convulsively, as the image finally fades.
Then the tears come,
When I see so much as a blue jacket, standing in line to get a mocha

And in the end, no one knows but me,
Whether I'm referring to my own mother
Father
Or lover that never was