Whole

Sometimes I take solace in the f9 key
Sometimes I simply look away
A lot of times I just cry
Sometimes I cruse fate
I look at my neighbors and see that they have it better than me
Me and my lonely self
Sometimes I just throw things
All those nice glasses against white walls that now have weird green smudges on them I have to explain away to the landlord someday.
A lot times I just sit here and stew
Try to sleep
Try to watch a movie
Read  a book
Anything to get my mind off my pain and my imcompletness
But not one time have I found the answer
Not one time have I found you
That person who could make it all go away forever
That thing that cold make me not have to consider what solace I have to take in what object, food, drink, pill, moment, animal or person next.
Not one time have I said "I've got it!"
"That's it!"
"This will make me feel whole, nice, comfortable, calm, rational, excited, nice, gentle or happy permanently!"
Not one time have any of these fixes done anything but that, fix.
And then maybe fix
and then they don't...

Human

I am human.
I'm really hoping this problem will correct itself
without my effort.
I am human.
I become easily irrational at things I did,
Things that are beyond my control,
Things that I could change,
If I tried harder, etc.
I am human.
I can use things, other than their intended purposes,
to gain emotional benefits,
which will ultimately harm my body.
I am human.
I didn't mean for this to happen,
To occur,
To take place.
I know I could have done something.
But somewhere,
Somehow,
I am sure,
I am positive,
This was someone
Else's fault.
    
                    -Human

Under an overpass

The roads are empty
There was scream by a girl
There is a time and a place
and this isn't one of them
I see the streets are empty
Are you coming
Because this is too far from anywhere
you would be
Please tell me you are coming
Of all the nights and days
You've been on my mind
I'd think one of them would conjure
you instinctively
But no.
Are you coming?
Because the streets have more fairway now
And I think it might be safer to go out
I love you by the way
Even if you're not here.

Lets be strangers

I don't have to say anything. I could just be here sitting in your mind, undisturbed. Unrelated to anything. Because the minute I open my mouth, I become something. I become a truth. If I don't say anything at all, I remain a mystery. I the less I say, the better.
If I don't say anything, I will be one less person who will make you mad, make you sad. I will sit inside your head and it will be as though we met on a train, a bus. Something transitory. Something not.
If I say nothing at all, we will be alright. We will just be here and be and be nothing at all. And will be that thing they always ask us to be, a still nothing on a cool breeze, on a sunny day with nothing but a hug between two people.

On not giving up

I was asked during an interview once what type of customer got to me. If there were any particular customer that really got to me. And for some reaon that question really got to me. I mean, I've been asked what colleagues get to me but never what customer.
So I figured it out. It's those customers that let their lives get away from them. And they're nearly gone. Nearly dead. It's those customers that gave up a long time a go, let their lives get away from them.

Something happy

Her eyes tracked from right to left as though she were watching someone dancing. It was just her thoughts punching like fists into her skull until she saw colors and flashes of light bathing her vision in confusion. She became aware that he was waiting and tried to mentally rush the colors out of her cheeks. Taking some breathes to compose herself, she finally met his eyes. The address that he wrote upon her hand was quickly looked at. The q and r was hardily recognized by the smugly black ink that ran like tears between her love and life line. How ironic, she thought.
She moved to get up but he stopped her with a tender touch to her inner elbow and place of two fingers to his lips. She kept her stare in his eyes and moved no further towards the door.

You take advantage, sir

You take advantage, sir.
You leak traces
Every morning I think of you
If you want a kiss, a caress, a romp in the hay,
a talk or a message, a twinkle of the eye,
a smile, a hug or a simple look from me.
I don't know what to do with myself, sir.
For I came to you to fix myself, sir.
Not the other way around.
And you took advantage, sir.
You took my hugs, my kiss, my caress,
message, smile, romp in the hay
and look!
And then left.
You took advantage, sir.