Him (Edit: It wasn't all the news, though)

I stopped watching the news

I stopped watching the news, so I wouldn't be triggered.

I stopped watching the news.

I stopped doing a lot of the things that built my morning routine after the let down of that last job,

The one that last made me forget who I am.

I stopped watching the news because I thought that was real good step in the right direction after the 'mini stroke' that led me down so many wrong directions.

I stopped a portion of my daily morning routine because I thought it would heal me!

Nope.

I thought it would be the right step in the right direction.

Who knew how disengaged from the community, the way of thinking that was proper, politically correct and kosher I would become?

So unlike the venues my mind starting wondering down because it could.

I forgot once again  who I was.
That I followed the Romans norms, even though I didn't agree with some, if not a (depending) majority of them.

I still did as the Romans did, when I was in Rome.

I f%^&*** hate myself now.

Because just because I could, didn't mean I can!

Even if I've done nothing regrettable,

I need to be the person a person like me can trust!!!!!!!

Without the furls of "this and that"

I simply need to be

"Down this way miam: is peace, please allow me to help/be a light, however I can show you that you too can follow him."

l'ordinateur

i feel you demon box

siting on my chest

opening my heart

looking inside

rooting around

asking questions that appear on your screen

I feel you demon box

Probing into my utmost

looking for names

looting for stories

looking for connections

that i provide

that i give

That I input

I see you demon  box

doing what can only be refereed to generally 

and specifically

as contact tracing

And yet my fingers fly

Because I love him

Because I want him

Because i'm lonely

Because he's not here

Because he's never been here

Because I will always be without him

Until I literally give up the ghost he has and always will be forever more

So I see you demon box

Working your demon ways

Into my mind first and my soul next, rooting around

and ONLY LOOKING AND CARING FOR WHAT YOU WANT AND THAT WHICH PUSHES YOUR AGENDA
just as I do 

I feel like everyone could say this

I keep preparing for these eventualities

Not addressing these actualities

And the in between is killing me

When the present is so confusing

As the past continues to haunt

And they're pressing in their souls now!

And is it any surprise I just want out?

And you want to tag them down like they're Jesus

Why are you so concerned at getting better for them?

As if you're not entangled with you the second you step and leave their premise.

It's you who needs to get better for F#$%*$* you,

Not them

They cease to be a thing the second they leave any room

And what bills have they paid?

What breaths have they taken for you?

What laws have they undone?

What hands have they held?

What thoughts have they withstood for you?

In your place

at the time that you needed

Some F#$%*$* withholding?

No,

They come in.

They say things.

They leave.

Barely any of them do a thing for you whatsoever,

And you want to tag them down like they're Jesus.

A glorious bag of Cheetos

It was a glorious bag of Cheetos,

It was pure sugar for sure,

Something to add,

Not subtract,

From the 30 lbs

I had yet to loose,

but it was a glorious bag of Cheetos,

All we needed, really 

After failing to get

where we needed

After failing in general

It was a glorious bag of Cheetos

That was consumed in indecent amounts in between folds of

Who cared most for each other