Dear who I hope maybe, somehow, through some miracle, maybe will read this because he still reads this

You always asked me two questions
Why do you drink
And do you love him
I drink because it brings my body back to what it was before my mothers death
For a brief moment in time I can finally run a mile
I can feel confident
I can feel like myself
I can feel that bicycler's muscles
I can feel that runner
I can feel that catcher
I can feel that girl inside me that once went out there
And actually did something
Other than mope
And get money for her workaholic lifestyle
And no I don't love him
Because love can't encompass
My deep belief
That this is likely not
Love
Because a person like me may never truly have a healthy defininition of love
But hell if I'm walking this earth without him by my side
Every second
Minute
State
New city
New apartment
New screwed up life we have to live because we're poor and screwed