l'ordinateur

i feel you demon box

siting on my chest

opening my heart

looking inside

rooting around

asking questions that appear on your screen

I feel you demon box

Probing into my utmost

looking for names

looting for stories

looking for connections

that i provide

that i give

That I input

I see you demon  box

doing what can only be refereed to generally 

and specifically

as contact tracing

And yet my fingers fly

Because I love him

Because I want him

Because i'm lonely

Because he's not here

Because he's never been here

Because I will always be without him

Until I literally give up the ghost he has and always will be forever more

So I see you demon box

Working your demon ways

Into my mind first and my soul next, rooting around

and ONLY LOOKING AND CARING FOR WHAT YOU WANT AND THAT WHICH PUSHES YOUR AGENDA
just as I do 

I feel like everyone could say this

I keep preparing for these eventualities

Not addressing these actualities

And the in between is killing me

When the present is so confusing

As the past continues to haunt

And they're pressing in their souls now!

And is it any surprise I just want out?

And you want to tag them down like they're Jesus

Why are you so concerned at getting better for them?

As if you're not entangled with you the second you step and leave their premise.

It's you who needs to get better for F#$%*$* you,

Not them

They cease to be a thing the second they leave any room

And what bills have they paid?

What breaths have they taken for you?

What laws have they undone?

What hands have they held?

What thoughts have they withstood for you?

In your place

at the time that you needed

Some F#$%*$* withholding?

No,

They come in.

They say things.

They leave.

Barely any of them do a thing for you whatsoever,

And you want to tag them down like they're Jesus.

A glorious bag of Cheetos

It was a glorious bag of Cheetos,

It was pure sugar for sure,

Something to add,

Not subtract,

From the 30 lbs

I had yet to loose,

but it was a glorious bag of Cheetos,

All we needed, really 

After failing to get

where we needed

After failing in general

It was a glorious bag of Cheetos

That was consumed in indecent amounts in between folds of

Who cared most for each other

A plunge and flight

Do birds in learning and in flying on a daily basis at some point think about that flight is acceptance of the ability in/and possibility of plunging to their own death? Because it's there. A plunge and then a wind taking their wings and their bodily mechanics taking over. But there is a plunge.A plunge that would give a human being death. Or do birds just accept this and fly anyways? All this being irrational, of course. Birds are driven and operate 1000% by innate instinct and don't really think as we think. But the crust of it's there. Their ability to fly on a daily basis is based on their ability to accept the possibility of death.

What really fascinates me is there it is, physically before my eye-- now that it's spring, everyday I watch them take off from this huge tree right outside my window. There is a plunge! There's always a plunge. There's something in that plunge. There's something in that plunge that is both magical, graceful, spiritual and altogether... fascinating. Because there is always a plunge and then flight. A plunge and flight.

All the energy, everything in the universe does not go wasted

My 7th grade science teacher said everything in the universe, all the energy, everything in the universe does not go wasted. All the energy in the universe is consumed, used, spent, dissipated, evaporated, melted, washed away, becomes a liquid gas or solid and does not expire, disappear or leave. All of it stays. And then some dip sh** had to go and say something immature to the magic he just explained "Even farts?!" And he said "Especially farts!" Or something like that. But it doesn't go away. I just keep going on and on about that lately and i just don't know why.

 I may mean nothing  to you, but I mean a lot to me