You dare not

(This is a really pathetic poem I wrote when I was drunk and don't have the guts to take down)

Suddenly not so sober
I can speak your veins
I speak your silence
I speak your name
You know who I
But fetch me away
You know my name
I am who you are
But you dare not open
You dare not breath
You dare not look
You dare not omit me
If not the best thing you'd ever do for another
You dare not admit
You dare not know
You dare not see
You dare not poses
You dare not write
You dare no see
not anything
For the sake of MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

What's in my head

Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre Mediocre

At least I'm honest. Is it too early to drink?

Mad as H@#!

Vacation Rental Dog Beach Tide

It's just  a place to put my mind for a while
so I don't have to think about the dog and the beach
and the resort vacation
and your hands all over me
Some call it other things
Like a job
a good book
a leisurely walk
a swim
a long ride on a bus
a rushed e-mail
solitaire for ten minutes before the clothes go into the wash...
but we all know what it really is
it's a place to put my head so I don't have to, for just a plucked minute, hour, half hour, second, day...
to think of you

Container

I traced the rough corners of the container and became irrationally annoyed. I felt the harshness of life echoed even ordinary objects. But thought, then, at least there is that, the containing of something within another body of material. Much less the slightness of a soul consistently escaping the grasps of reality and echoing off of fantasy, futile desire, and too often despair.

What to Do

Finish volunteer application
Schedule an appoint with an academic adviser with community college
Get transcripts from old community college
Follow up on getting a credit card
Run and swim at least twice a week and increase to five times a week
Get fruits three times a day and increase to nine times a day
Finish a book
Get a scale
Measure waist once a week     

     
      

YOU

When every moment of my life is spent wanting to die, you make me want to live just a little bit.

Rose Petals

If I die as a result of loving you
I will take you down
like the anchor to a ship
Slip your hands through mine
bound in place by fate
dive off that deck
and touch the bottom with a shared kiss
You will love it
I guarantee the results
A garden of trust
with thrust
from our demised embrace
You will finally have the gull
and all that comes with
Because if I die as a result of loving you
noting will ever matter anyways.

If

If marriage is going to be miserable, it might as well be with someone who is worth being miserable with.