5/03/2025

Clock on the wall

I replaced your heart with a block of pre charred wood
And then lit it on fire.
No one noticed
You certainly did
I called the fire dept myself
You sat and waited 
I held your hands as tears flowed down your cheeks
Never leaving your eyes
Looking directly into them
I lit fire to your heart, beating still in your chest
just for me
and no one noticed
The arson took place in less than seconds
I watched on the clock in the hall that you personally changed the battery in
The one with the broken plastic shield that kept the paper with the numbers on it, securely in tack
You figured this out,
After breaking the plastic by accident
By dropping the shield on the floor
that that paper was curled in such a way
as to prevent the big and small arms of the clock from turning properly
if the plastic shield was not placed on top
So you fixed it
Taped the cover now broke in two 
with the only tape you could find
replaced the dead battery,
and placed the clock back on the wall.
Unlike your heart,
the clock is still ticking





2/01/2025

Goldfinch

I will love you until
the final grasp of my fingers
On the corners of this bed 
We call earth. 
until the silt leaves this  marrow,
And like our chilly breath 
Settling on the corners of this window pane,
You sit like a Goldfinch,
Eating away at my hands, 
Slowing devouring my veins in a single slurp of your soul, 
Sitting inside mine

(much apologizes for the absurdity of this poem. I like some of it. I'm very, very much trying to get back into writing after a year of 2 blog posts, this upsets me.)



7/13/2024

Physics?

Time is commodity
Just as currency
Is currency
Just as love
thought
Dimension--it's a line/other stuff?
fields upon fields within this world
The field inside/outside... a feather!
a touch and go...
an ocean
a face
Looking at a wave 
that connects to
the same wave 
That had come from somewhere else...
and goes... inside that instant
it's as thought we have time travel
Somehow we have it all in a wave, crashing onto an opposing ocean shore

(sorry for stupide poem of stupid collected thoughts. I needed this.)



6/23/2024

Talking back

I'm not a bad poet
I'm not a bad person
I'm me
I'm worth it
I'll survive
As I have
I love and have loved and will love again
I know what's right
I know what's wrong
I also know what's killing me inside
And what will destroy me 
Absolutely obliterate me

12/31/2023

Not that I had a problem

I love how almost anyone who has talked to me about a brief cessation in their alcohol intake (also commonly referred to as 'sobriety') has prefaced this obscenity with 'Not that I had a problem."
(in a sense a brief disclosure in this dialog must be made aware that the aforementioned phrase should be only said in ones head in as nasal kind of a way. And much of the following should as well. Reader's preference, of course.)
Oh dear.
Problems.
I hate to be the one to say this
I guess the bearer of bad news perchance to say ,perchance to express, perchance to dispel the egotistical logic of the moment
But!
OH! DID I HAVE A PROBLEM.
That problem is not so elegantly described as
and not so favorable referred to as
ALCHOLHOLISM.
So I did cease
from the alcohol
OH!
(Until now (what delights!) of course!)
NOT BECAUSE I HAD A PROBLME OR ANHTING!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Yeh No
I did
I so did.
But because I wanted to like
Live.
To live.
Yeh



9/30/2023

The Game

So you've found how to throw the ball without looking, very good
You've decided to reserve this token when needed most, good
Most people use them now
You've given up
You no longer care that this wall will limit your chances of future success
Because you're tired
Is that it?
Oh, you've started again because you realize it's just a game,
And there's at least that
You've noticed that even if you hit the target, you've missed,
Because you hitting the target happened outside our view point,
Because we did not see it happen,
You don't get credit
You've realized the complexity of the viewable action, versus the objectivity of the game.
Duplicity.
And no one cares.
And really, no one has time to.
But, when will you discover the line?

7/07/2023

Fear

I'd purge, if I felt there was something viable to purge.
I'd cry, if I saw the end of tears.
I'd scratch off my face, if it ended this pain.
I'd kill my own self,
If it only killed the 'self' that feels this way.
If it made sure that version,
That weak, mutable self that I became in your eyes,
Was finally lost into some forest I lead it into, 
As if some wicked, wanton, ill gotten pet.